Wedding Ring

It's so dark in here, and I feel all chained up. What did I ever do to deserve this life of isolation? Somedays it's cold, on others it's hot, as if I would know one day from another in this place! I've lived with her on this one finger for almost thirty-five years, and without a word of notice, I was thrown like a prisoner into this heart-shaped box. I remember the day she brought me home. She went to an uncle--a jeweler--who sold me for one hundred thirty five dollars. I was beautiful with seven little diamonds on my dainty gold band. Back then I was something! She was twenty-one with beautiful red hair, and I was so proud the day she put me on. Till death do us part, wasn't that the deal? The first day she put me on, we headed for New York City, and for two weeks I had a ball. She was drinking back then, so when she had her drinks, I'd say she had her fun too. Then came the day they went up the Hudson to see the Statue of liberty. There wasn't any drinks served aboard ship, and she played and twisted with me so much I feared that I would pop off into the river. Maybe if I had gone overboard that day, after spending only a short time with her before I got so attached, the pain would not have been as great. The next thirty-five years were filled with going to the hospital, right into the Delivery Room when her children were born. I was there at all her parties. Even when her drinking took me into the darkest places, I knew she would get us home again to our safe place. She was so much fun to be with. I had such a busy life with her. I spent more time in water than anyone I know. Boy, did she like to do dishes! From Montreal to Washington D.C., I went along when she had her nails done. She got all these funny jobs, including one wearing this bunny costume with this tall crazy hat. She was just too much. One day on a Sunday morning, she took me to this A.A. meeting, I couldn't believe it! Lord knows it was one of her better moves. After that, life for me was spent at lots of A.A. meetings. She'd play with me a lot back then. I went to all her anniversaries, and to places she would go to once in a while just to have fun for herself. These were her most private times, and I never tell even if I could talk. Our last eight years together have been rough. We even moved out of our house that we had both lived in for twenty-two years. It would have been even sadder except this place we moved too was so great. I've enjoyed this new place so much. From where we sleep you could hear the church bells chime on the hour. Once I was lent out for a month to her daughter who was in the process of getting her own wedding band. Other than that, I've never left her. What could I have done that I've been put in chains and darkness on this window sill? Sitting here alone in a heart-shaped box with only the church bells to sustain my sanity and my hopes of going back to the living. I was just a symbol of a time in her life. Maybe someday she'll place me on another finger. I'll be worth much more than one hundred thirty five dollars, for with me will go the wisdom of a great lady. One of the first Buddhist sayings: "All life is sorrowful." Yet it is childish to pass it up. Let me out of this darkness, and I will show you I can live with pain. A lonely wedding ring.

Copyright; Ruth Mahoney 1-Jul-89