Fleet,and
I Don't Mean The Bank
You remember my bout with the flu, boo hoo? And my
sister called three times from San Francisco insisting that I
go to the Doctor's. After two bad experiences with home remedies,
I made my appointment. Being sick for two weeks, in and out of
bed, I was quite reluctant to meeting this red-headed doctor who
was about fortyish. When was the last time you had an examination?
What examination, I said to myself. Well I guess maybe two years
ago, my gynecologist. How old are you, he asked. It was on the
chart in front of him, but I guess he wanted me to say it. 55.
You're due. O.K.Doc, I said to myself.I will get one, but isn't
this one? No, he said. "I want to wait until the infection is
cleared up." Then we can take some tests." I Left the office for
my prescription for what was diagnosed as bronchitis. There were
pills for me to take every four hours, also a bottle of cough
medicine with codeine. For years at meetings I had heard that
this was a no-no. By the way, I've vowed never to smoke again.
The pills and the cough syrup put me back on my feet, I must admit.
I was looking forward to my tablespoon four times a day of this
liquid that was stopping my cough and had no side effects. soon
I was myself again, and back to work. The infection is now passed
and it was check-up time. The check-up wasn't too much different
than the first time with the exception of going downstairs for
some blood work. Oh yes, I did have to blow into a bag or something
to see how my wind was. I remember not being able to blow out
my 25th birthday cake candles, so I just did fair on that test,
but he ruled out any signs of emphysema. I was to go to my gynecologist
for a pap smear and one of those mammograms. O.K., says I, I can
handle that when he came up with some big words, and You should,
at your age, take this one too. So, another piece of paper with
a date on it and instructions with how I prepare for this. The
paper read, April 27th, 10:15 a.m. No solid foods afternoon the
day before. also a fleet enema before bedtime and one in the morning
before examination. Was this necessary? Right up until the day
after my last meal of a large lunch with ice cream and wet walnut
I felt that I was not going through with this. Surely I couldn't
stay away from eating for that long, I might even smoke. Rising
that morning, I asked my higher power for help, just in case.
I had my ice cream, then put my tape on, THE PRINCE OF TIDES I
felt quite relaxed. I didn't feel hungry yet anyway. Took a walk,
watched some t.v. It was time now for my first Fleet. I had memories
of years ago of the enema they gave before delivering my children.
I felt it was worse than the delivery. The directions were simple:
lie on my right side, raise my right knee, so far, so good. Leaving
me with my right hand to insert the small tip with the rather
small amount of water, hold for 2 to 5 minutes, all very civilized,
I should have figured it out with. I hopped into bed, still not
hungry and listened to the rest of my tape. I slept like a baby
till morning. Full of confidence/caffeine, I repeat the process
again, and left for the doctor's office. The nurse gave me my
dressing gown, I waited for him to enter the room, we went into
another room, I stayed relaxed, first for myself and the fact
is, it would make everything go smoother. I was on the streets
in 35 minutes with a clean bill of health and not hungry. I grew
a lot in those hours, my faith in my higher power increased to
a new level, and like Woody Allen in HANNAH AND HER SISTERS, I
knew what I was going to do with that clean bill of health.
Copyright; Ruth
Mahoney 27-Apr-88
